Monday, June 14, 2010

Superman Vs. Batman: The Ultimate Nerd Debate

Author's note: I am extremely biased on this topic, but I will do my best to present both sides fairly and equally. Actually, I probably won't. Maybe I should have titled this blog "Batman rules and Superman sucks." This should in no way be considered fair and balanced journalism.

If you hadn't noticed, I've been a little angrier than usual in my last couple of posts. I've decided that it's time to lighten the mood and get back to the things that are truly important, like comic books.

Let's start with Superman. Kal-El (a.k.a Clark Kent, Superman) illegally immigrated to the United States in 1933. He was found in a field by Jonathan and Martha Kent, who forged the paperwork to make him appear to be their own legal son. I guess leading a double life just comes naturally to some people.

The rest of the story you already know. Superman, the big blue boy scout, always blindly following orders, using his giant array of superhuman abilities. Seriously, what's the appeal of a man who can do everything? He can fly, has super strength, super speed, laser vision, x-ray vision, and microscopic vision just to name a few. If his eyes are so awesome, why does Clark Kent need glasses? And don't tell me that it's for disguising himself. When I take my glasses off, I still look like me.

Batman (a.k.a. Bruce Wayne) has no real superpowers to speak of. He's just a man, albeit a very wealthy and intelligent one. People often mistakenly assume that his motivation is vengeance, but that is simply false. He's not trying to bring his parents back, and his not trying to punish the criminal involved in his parents' deaths. He is trying to keep what happened to him from happening to anyone else. He is the epitome of self-sacrifice and determination. Basically, he's just awesome.

People are always trying to get me to believe that Superman stands for the American dream, with his moral values and integrity. I disagree. Batman is ridiculously rich, without actually having to work for his wealth. He has the most technologically advanced car, plane, and boat, which are used to show others how important he is. That's the American dream that I know.

Just about anyone will tell you that, between brains and brawn, brains are the more important quality. Anyone who doesn't is probably very strong and dumb as a rock (like Superman).

"Who would win in a fight between Superman and Batman?" If you don't already know the answer to this question, read Frank Miller's 'The Dark Knight Returns.' Not only is it one of the greatest written works in history, it is hands down the best 'Hero vs. Hero' fight in all of comics. Read it, and you'll find out who the real king of the superheroes is.

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