Seriously, She's Weird Looking

I have some advice for anyone who thinks that Megan Fox is attractive. Quit drinking.

I don't understand where this image of the ideal woman came from. Why does a woman have to be orange and undernourished to be considered attractive? Since I like to concentrate my energy on one person in particular, I chose Megan Fox. She is obviously not famous for her incredible acting ability. She hasn't even been in a single good movie. Some of you might say "What about Transformers?" Like I said, not a single good movie. Transformers was awful. I wanted to see a movie about big freaking robots from outer space, not a bunch of whiny people with problems and Megan Fox in a skirt. Sorry I'm off topic, but one last thing. Bumblebee is NOT a Camaro! Never has been, never will be. Screw you Michael Bay. You are now tied for first place with Joel Shumacher on my list of "People Who Bastardized My Childhood."

Sorry, back to the skinny girls. I have some advice for you single men out there. Stay away from the skinny girls. Thin women are thin because they're hungry. Hungry women are cranky. Mathematically, we can assume that skinny girls are cranky. Anybody want to argue?

One last thing:

Megan Fox has 7,221,084 fans on Facebook. I have 43. She's weird looking and has no talent. I'm weird looking and have some talent. It's up to you, loyal readers. I need more fans than Megan Fox. Can we do it? No, probably not. But tell your friends anyway.