Monday, June 21, 2010

Aging As Gracefully As Possible

I've recently been trying to come to terms with the fact that I'm no longer young. I am by no means an old man, but I've been doing and thinking a lot of things that say otherwise.

"I remember when..." is how I begin most of my sentences. I constantly find myself complaining about how much things cost.

I remember when cigarettes were between one and two dollars per pack. In the great state of Montana, taxes alone for a single pack of cigarettes is $2.71 ($1.70 state tax, $1.01 federal). On a related note, you should thank the next person you see smoking. Your taxes would be much, much higher if people didn't smoke.

The last time I was at the store, I seriously considered buying a nose-hair trimmer. Nothing makes you feel like an old man quite like the need for accessories to keep unwanted body hair under control.

I have also recently done some things that are very stereotypically "old-manish." I actually yelled at the neighborhood hooligans to "stay off my lawn." I don't know what's worse, the fact that I yelled at them or that I refer to them as hooligans.

My only question is, if I feel like this now, how am I going to feel in 40 years? Hopefully by then, I'll be completely senile, and that sort of behavior will be expected of me. For now, though, I guess I'll just have to deal with the fact that young people are stupid and things cost more than they used to.

1 comment:

  1. Your social security check is late! Stuff costs more than it used to! Young people use curse words!