Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Malnourished Muppet Syndrome

Dear Parents,

Is your teenage daughter constantly going to the tanning salon, bleaching her hair, and taking duck-faced MySpace pictures of herself in the mirror? If so, she may have a very serious condition known as Malnourished Muppet Syndrome, or MMS. The good news, however, is that there is help.

MMS is almost exclusively found in women between the ages of 15 and 30, however extreme cases can carry on into later years. The symptoms of MMS include, but are not limited to, oranging of the skin, paling of the hair, and a physique that would make a pencil say "Damn, that's skinny!"

It's important that we curb this disorder before it gets worse. As parents, the first thing you can do is teach your children the difference between orange and tan. If your daughter starts to show symptoms, point out to her how ridiculous she looks. Show her pictures of Janice the Muppet (found at http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Janice) and ask her if that is really her idea of beauty. As for the anorexic-like physique, there is a very simple solution:


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