Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The Hunt Continues...

I still don't have a job, and it's not for lack of trying. When I first started looking for work, I applied only for things I have experience in, thinking that that was important. Apparently, ten years of food service experience is too much to get a job at a restaurant. I'm overqualified for the only thing I have experience in.

So, now I've moved on to applying for jobs in which I have no experience. Guess what? I don't have enough experience for those. I'm still unsure why I need six months of experience to stock grocery store shelves or to mow lawns. Seriously, I've been mowing lawns since I was 12, but since I didn't get paid for it, it doesn't count as experience.

I recently applied for a job at my son's daycare. I thought I would get this job in a heartbeat, for several reasons. First, I've been a stay-at-home dad for nine months. Anyone who spends time with my son tells me that he's very well-behaved and a perfect little angel. That doesn't happen by accident, you know.

Second, I'm a musician, which I believe would make a welcome addition to any childcare team. Do you know any children who don't like to sing and dance? I don't.

Third, the owner of the daycare would pay me to do my job, and I would immediately pay her a large portion of my wages for child care services. In theory, she would be paying me about two dollars per hour.

Alas, I didn't get the job. Instead, it went to a seventeen year old girl with enough eyeliner to cover the members of Green Day and Good Charlotte combined. Now my son has a horrible case of diaper rash, being that he sat in a wet diaper for at least four hours. His "caregiver" was too busy reading a magazine to be bothered.

I have since reworded my resume. It is now only two sentences:

Please give me a job! I am willing to work my ass off and utterly humiliate myself for a steady paycheck.

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