Tuesday, August 10, 2010

People Watching

I have been trying to be less judgmental lately, but people do not make it easy for me. I am by no means a "fashion expert," but I feel as though many people may share my opinion on this topic.

I have recently started a new job. My position requires me to sit in a truck at an outdoor market and sell ice cream. During the slower times, I have nothing to do but sit back and watch people go by. I have come to the conclusion that 75% of people do not have mirrors in their homes, otherwise they wouldn't be in public looking the way they do.

Here are a few guidelines I have come up with. Please feel free to share them with everyone you know. Maybe, just maybe, we can stop some of the ridiculousness.

1. If you have more hair on your back and shoulders than on your head, you are not allowed to wear a tank-top.

2. If the lowest point on your shorts is the crotch, they are too short (especially if you're a male). Normally these kinds of shorts are called "underwear."

3. You are not allowed to wear the aforementioned "underwear" over a pair of tights, unless you have some sort of superpower (or you're Batman).

4. Old men are still allowed to hike their shorts waaaay up and tuck their shirt in, just because it will always make me laugh.

5. (From a previous post) If you have something written across your ass, don't get mad at me for trying to read it!

6. Dress your age. Nobody wants to see a sixty year old woman in short-shorts and a low cut tank-top. But I guess this one is somewhat hypocritical coming from a guy who's almost thirty and wears nothing but comic book t-shirts.

I'm sure that people could say numerous things about how ridiculous I look. I know that people could say things about how I used to look (like the year I dressed as a baby for Halloween, complete with a mohawk and beard). I know I'm being judgmental...I just don't care.


  1. You are hilarious! Someone should pay you to write a column for a magazine or newspaper. You make me laugh. :))

  2. I agree with Alyssa! I suppose you are too busy with school now, to keep writing, but I miss reading it.