Dear Facebook,
This is a very hard, but also very necessary letter to write.
We've both done a lot of changing over the past four years, both for better and for worse. Sure, we had some good times playing Mafia Wars and Castle Age, but you and I both know that it takes more than fleeting fun to build a solid relationship.
I can honestly say that you are the biggest cause of stress in my life. At first, I thought the fact that you could put me in touch with people I had lost contact with was amazing. As it turns out, I lost contact with most of those people for a reason: they're idiots. Now I'm constantly inundated with status updates of my "friends" complaining about how poor they are and how much their life sucks. (Hint: If you have access to Facebook, you're already better off than a lot of people on this planet.)
I need to end this relationship, before I drive myself crazy. I would say the normal bullshit of how I'd like to remain friends, but I don't mean that. I want you out of my life, and off of my iPod, for good.
F@*$ you,
Aaron
No wonder I couldn't find you. It's all starting to make sense
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